Tag Archives: bible verse

Healing Broken Relationships

Healing Broken Relationships

February 26, 2018

Harsh words in the heat of anger. Accusations flying with no patience or logic to restrain them. Kindness being overlooked for rightness. So much hurt can be dealt by those we love.

We let them into our intimate, safe spaces. We trust them with our hearts and our realness. In return, every relationship has some risk of pain. That does not mean that it is not worth loving, worth trusting or worth forgiving . . . but it takes healing.

At its core, healing is a process. Particularly where relationships are concerned, there are at least two perspectives and two wounded souls doing battle. Here are some steps to help:

  1. Listen to what you’re saying and what the other person is saying. I didn’t use “hear” because so many of us hear what we want, hear the opening where we can jump in to be right and hear the sound of our own pulse pounding in our heads as we get enraged. Stop. Listen. Really make sure you are understanding the tone, the facts, the motivations.
  2. Empathize with the other person. This is not easy when you’re upset, but come at it from the, “How are they feeling and why?” and “Which of their points are valid?” and “How is their hurt showing?” Be willing to humble yourself, even if you are not in the wrong. Be willing to understand that a perception does not have to be a permanent viewpoint. Care for them.
  3. Tell them what you are feeling in a calm, rational way. Sit down instead of stand over them. Take deep breaths and really desire to make things better. Perhaps, give each person 3 minutes to share their side without interruption. Use language that is not accusatory, mean or disrespectful. They won’t hear you and will shut down. Be patient and honest.
  4. Go toward change. Healing can require a breather of time, space and location. Let them have it and give it to yourself. It can be far better to step away, rather than to lash out or tap out entirely. Use the distance to reflect on the situation without playing the “Here’s why I’m right and s/he’s wrong” reel in your head. Dwelling on hurt and mistakes only leaves us dwelling in pain. When you’re ready, find a neutral space to re-engage thoughtfully.

In essence, “LET Go” of bitterness and bridge gaps with love. Show that you can be your best and believe the other person will do the same. It takes time and genuine effort.

Healing is not restoring, so embrace the fact that you may not get back to who/where you were before. Brokenness does not always rebound to the same form. But, like melting metal to extract the impurities and make it stronger, your relationship may be strengthened too.

A serious and separate matter is abuse. If you are fearful for your body, your spirit or your well-being, please visit the “Is this Abuse?” page from The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Get guidance, get help. You are loved and not alone.

Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.” Jeremiah 33:6 NIV

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Why Share Your Struggles

Why Share Your Struggles?

February 8, 2018

Imagine facing a mountain. You arch your neck to look up and can’t make out the top. All you see is steep, rocky terrain and slippery slopes draped in thick clouds. You stand before it numb, overwhelmed and uncertain how to move forward. 

Then, you feel a hand take yours. Suddenly, you make out a thin, winding path carved into the mountain. You notice the clouds clearing slowly and finally take a deep breath. You see the top!

You turn and there is a close friend, softly smiling in support. You cry and embrace them. You realize you are not alone. Your strength increases gradually, as you hear a still voice gently whisper, “You are loved. You can do this.”

Dear friend, it’s time to #HealLouder.

Do you find yourself repeating painful habits related to grief or past hurts? Are you unsure how to reemerge from the cloud of numbness or apathy you feel around you? Are you afraid of judgment or worried about disappointing others? Have you convinced yourself that keeping it in is the only way to survive?

You are brilliant, exquisite and about to embrace more of what makes you unique.
No more silent suffering.

We are called to empathy. We are calling to gather with others. We are called to humble ourselves—to share our experiences, to discover life lessons and to help one another thrive (not just survive).

Consider this: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 NIV

If you happen to be a Christian, you may need to hear this most. Too many “churchgoers” fall into the trap of not sharing their gritty, disappointing struggles. They fear judgment, feel like failures for having issues and don’t want the spotlight turned on their lives. I’ve been there. But it’s nowhere to live and it denies the healing power of Jesus. To you, I say this:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 2:2 NIV

Hold on to that “renewing of your mind.” Is not the Spirit a gift for instruction, support and healing? See how “test” is built into this verse, as God knows we will stumble to learn. Are you craving transformation? I encourage you to trust that a past choice, a present moment, a lingering hurt does not dictate your future. Open your mind to hope and your arms to support. In fact, by sharing your struggles, you may inspire others to do the same.

Embark on a nurturing journey from hurt to hope that helps you see the infinite beauty you possess, hear the remarkable voice within and achieve a revival of hope.

How do you begin? Share your burden by sharing your story. Don’t carry it one more day.

The weight will lessen when you reach for a hand. The sting of pain will begin to dull when you keep it from festering inside you. The light of hope will shine brighter when you open your heart to the loving support of trusted friends.

Please share your burden below, tag it on Instagram with #HealLouder or email me (worldneedshope @ gmail .com). I would love to pray for and support you.